Let´s be honest, no one really wants to change, wants to improve, wants to better their life – nonetheless look at themselves instead of other people. There was a girl, she was beautiful, long legged, blonde, skinny as hell and man she had those blue eyes one could loose themselves in. Lets call her Maddy.
Maddy was a smarty 😀 She earned a good 10 to 20k a month, she knew how to speak up for herself, she had it all together, didn’t she? Well apparently she did, but in reality she did not.. she lashed out at people, more often than she liked, she was so angry deeply inside of her and there seemed to be no cure but to capsule herself away from society for a view days until that feeling went away. Every time she got angry she lashed out at the people around her which made them reluctant to keep a distance.. even her mother and her partner have a really hard time knowing when she will say hurtful things again or complain about them in order to feel better about herself.
What do you think Maddy thought about this situation? One could come to the conclusion she would see the reacurring anger issue and start looking into it further, but sadly no. The anger issue was no issue to her, it already became part of the identity she unconsciously created for herself. She was Maddy – the one not letting anyone step on her toes, no one will mess with Maddy! The anger came and went like the shore of the sea, every time she felt better the sun was shining so brightly so that to her there was “no reason to further look into the anger” ..this is “the past” no need for self reflection now that the sun is shining.. can´t you see that all is well?
Now there are many ways to think about this story.. was she hurt so badly before that she leaped into this anger spiral without finding a way out? Will she ever be able to open her eyes to the possibility that this is self imposed and that as a human being you are fully in control of yourself?
It’s written in think and grow rich: ” you have to wind yourself out of your ways as if you were stuck in a terrible nightmare.. first you seem to not have any control over your body but then you wiggle your toes a bit and after long hard struggle yo finally take control of your body again”. We have to wind ourselves out of the identity we created for our selves and get on to eating that frog – which means – stop creating stories about why you can not change because this is simply a way out on how you can get around not doing the work.
Maddy´s years passed by and her anger sunk deeper and deeper into her spirit, she never started to wiggle that toe, instead she told the people she loved and hurt “well then we are no good fit”, “well if I hurt you you can relax I am gone in a week from now” – “if you think I am too much of a burden then I am just not the right woman for you” … she told that story over and over again just so she would not have to eat that frog. This is sad, but true. It was too hurtful for her to face that deep feeling hidden behind the anger…she gave up on herself hoping that someday the work god gave her to do would vanish with a sip of red wine. Then she asked herself why people keep disappearing for no reason, why she rarely had people close to her, why people said she was critical, why no one else was complaining all the time “somehow no one sees what I am seeing”. She did not realize that she could not just expect people to forget how she treated them the last time and enjoy her sunny weather when it comes – she is rather alone than willing to make important how far she goes with others.
How to eat that frog beauty:
When it comes to anger issues there is always an underlying problem so try going to the therapist first and foremost. I know it is costly but believe me it’s gonna cost even more when you don’t. Just think about the life you could life free of your spirals you find yourself in over and over for the longest time. A therapist is not the cure, you are the cure, but what they do is, they show you the path that you can not see right now and hold your hand while you walk it..
Also pray. Prayer and the love of the lord is your first way to freedom. Listen to the silence around you and trust the little voice inside of you to lead you forward..
Some more tipps:
- think before you speak. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll later regret. …
- Once you’re calm, express your concerns. …
- Get some exercise. …
- Take a timeout. …
- Identify possible solutions. …
- Stick with ‘I’ statements. …
- Don’t hold a grudge. …
- Use humor to release tension.
never forget to eat that frog beauty <3 your froggie community