I am no doctor or professional, but I successfully overcame binge eating disorder and this are the steps I took to heal myself:
Reading the book “binge over brain”
This book actually changed my life. I read it lying in bed, so stuffed that I could not move anymore. My binge eating was so bad that I never even thought about what it is that I would like to eat that day, because I knew that I would binge on whatever we have at home anyways and thus I would not even be hungry. Eating for me was a way to forget the day, to get threw stress, hurt and anger and of course to stop this tremendous feeling of hunger I experienced. By reading this book I understood for the first time why I bindge and threw that awareness I could change.
Unconventional tip number two:
As I could not stop myself from binge eating, I felt as if there was no way out. I always looked pregnant and was severely bloated at almost all times. The only time I was not.bloated was the time when I starved myself for a week, but even then my stomach was never completely flat as it was used to expanding to the max. Think of a woman 9 months pregnant, that was approximately the way I looked and believe me, I am not joking. Everyone that suffered or suffers from binge eating disorder knows this is a fact ..and knows how much that hurts, physically but also emotionally. So I did the only thing that was in my power at that time: I HELD MY HANDS TO MY HEART EVERYTIME I OPENED THE FOOR OF MY FRIDGE AGAIN, I HELD MY HANDS ON MY HEART AND FELT THE EXTREME PAIN, SADNESS AND ANGER THAT WAS IN THERE WHILST EATING AND STUFFING EVERYTHING I COULD FIND INTO MY MOUTH. I did, what I could actually do, this was not much but it was IN MY POWER TO DO. I tell you, every first step is a step further, don’t underestimate the little habits.
Threw holding my heart everytime I ate I could slowly but surely realize that not only was I in emotional pain, but while I was eating thoughts of bitterness, shame, guilt, anger and abuse haunted me. I got haunted by them in my head. Faces of people that bullied me in school, teachers that made fun of me in front of the whole class, my mum mentally abusing me, my dad screaming at me that I would never get a job..all those hurtful thoughts went threw my head and just threw being aware of my feelings whilst eating I could pay attention to all the thoughts that went threw my head and this stage led to:
Anger.
I got angry. I got angry that I never enjoyed the calories I ate. I never enjoyed what I put into my mouth. Buying food to me was a game of how much bulk I could get for the least investment! Because I knew I need a lot of volume to be stuffed enough so I could “finally relax” and “lay in pain”. You can´t imagine how many days of my life were waisted because I felt sick….I became angry that I never enjoyed my food, so I decided that I will sit down and enjoy every bite I take. I will savour it, because I take the calories in anyways, but I will not let myself hurt my body just because my mind wants to forget about certain aspects of my past and thinks the solution to dealing with painful feelings would be to eat them away.
No. No. No!
NO was a word foreign to me. Growing up I was scoulded for relaxing and enjoying myself. My dad was very harsh and thought the best way to develop character was by screaming at hjs kids if they ever watch TV or enjoy themselves. Nowadays I think he was very unhappy with his life and could never satisfy my mother, she was always in a bad mood and he felt responsible for her mood. I think he grew up with a shouting father that was choleric just as he turned out to be. My father now changed to the better very much but nevertheless it was a long journex for me to finally realize that I felt bad and guilty for relaxing and that a huge part of my then binge eating disorder was that I needed a logical reason as to why I had to lay down and do nothing. If I was to lay down at home without any reason I would be a bad girl that would get homeless and never get a job. If I was to relax and enjoy my life without working in the garden, cleaning the kitchen or being productive I would not get any love. There would be no love for me…I was strongly emotionally abused and to this day it hurts me to even think about it, but if me sharing my story helps one person then it is worth it. WHAT I WANT TO TELL YOU BY SHARING THIS IS that saying no means saying yes to yourself. ITS YOUR LIFE, YOUR BODY and you are SAFE with yourself and BY YOURSELF. You can perfectely look after yourself and you do not need to please anyone to be loved, because there is no need to be lived when you are always LOVED BY THE LOVING CREATOR THAT BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS LIFE. Make sure that you reflect on the benefit that binge eating gives you – honestly – just with yourself and give that benefit to yourself in a healthier way. For me this meant that I had to start giving myself time to relax when I needed it.
Sport.
I know its hard, but heres a secret: the 3 day rule. On the first day you put on your sneakers, go outside and run for 60 seconds. If you would like to run for longer you can do it, but know that for this challenge it doesn’t count and is just for your own fun. After the 60 seconds are done, you have achieved the goal. The second day is for resting. Just go about your life like always. The third day is to mentally prepare, that tomorrow you are going for your 60 seconds again. Make sure you plan them into your day. The next day is your running day again. Go for your 60 seconds….and so on and so fourth. This is the SECRET. This changes your life. The trick and reality is that it is not about the sport you do, the food you eat, the goals you achieve, the car you drive, the emotional work, the money, whatever. IN life there are just 2 things that count and they are DESIRE and CONSISTENCY. Believe the unsportiest, nhealthiest, fat, binging, sick person – FORMER ME that turned into second Pamela Reif slash Model skash super healthy fitness chica over the course of 9 years of the 3 day rule now… you might not believe me now, but I challenge you to start molding your brain for success and taking the 3 day rule as your own duty.
Find your north star.
Built your relationship with your future self. And visualize being with your future healthy, slim self. Visualize how you easily eat a plate of healthy jummy food, how you enjoy yor morning workout session and how you are well read about all things diet and sport. Visualize your better self
and as always – I love you and I believe in you – but first:
EAT THAT FROG BEAUTY